$eeking Arrangement

Money for College

I owe St. Olaf College  $4,773.

If I do not pay this amount by May 23rd, I will not be able to receive my diploma and graduate. I'm stressing out and super worried about how I need to pull out a lot of loans.

$4,773 is a lot of money for me, especially because my family and I live below the poverty line. We've always been below the poverty line. But somehow, when I tell my friends that I have a total of about $4,000 in loans, they shout "That's it!!?"

I quickly find out how they have over $20,000 in loans. One of my friends has about $31,000 in loans. She studied traveled abroad two times during her college career. This relieves me about my situation, although I find it absolutely troubling that the costs of a college education has skyrocketed. My friend and I researched more about this phenomenon. We searched for articles on the New York Times and found an alarming article on how recent college students have been seeking arrangements with millionaires to help pay off their insane education debts. This was shocking. I continued to search for other articles and videos on this topic.

There are many media views on this phenomenon because there is a large debate on if this activity is considered prostitution: Dr. Drew on SeekingArrangement & SeekingArrangement.com on 20/20 College Sugar Babies.

Check out the website. What do you think about these descriptions?

Seeking Arrangement

The Modern Gentlemen

You are always respectful and generous. You only live once, and you want to date the best. Some call you a mentor, sponsor or benefactor. But no matter what your desires may be, you are brutally honest about who you are, what you expect and what you offer.

Goal Seeking Sugar Baby

Attractive, intelligent, ambitious and goal oriented. Sugar Babies are students, actresses, models or girls & guys next door. You know you deserve to date someone who will pamper you, empower you, and help you mentally, emotionally and financially.

The site confirms the income of the sugar daddies and sugar mamas; however, it does not promise the safety of anyone's life. 

I have been following an amazing blog written by a Hmong woman.

http://ahmongwoman.com/2013/03/10/zerlina-maxwell-rape-prevention-and-guns/

The Feminine Mystique

In the 1950s, women were trapped by the feminine mystique. What is the feminine mystique?

The ideal woman was to stay at home all day to cook and clean the house while raising their children.


he social construction of the ideal woman.

While Friedan’s book was groundbreaking, her bias toward white middle class women greatly limited the possibilities and applicability of her message and goals. And yet, we want you to think about the ways in which we may be trapped in a new kind of feminine mystique.

What ever happened to feminism?

Two years ago I worked on an oral history project. I interviewed my academic adviser. She was a big feminist during her college years here at St. Olaf. During her time, students were protesting to have condoms readily available on campus. This was a time where the conversation of sex could lead to a deadly one because of HIV/AIDS. As a feminist, she protested holding signs and shouting for students' rights to have condoms on campus. This was in the 80's.

After graduating from college, she was still a feminist but in subtle ways. She now works here on campus and saw how the student body do not display overt forms of feminism at all. You wouldn't find a group of students holding up signs for change. It's different now.

Some of my friends claim to be feminists. A few despise the word and do not think they need feminism anymore. What is going on? I am not sure, but I believe Courtney E. Martin's TED Talk here is very important to consider.

Because I was Colorblind

I can understand when Camille Wilson Cooper said, "A colorblind society is a detrimental one." 
I feel the oppression of colorblind racism every day. White students all around me are kind and wave hello to me, but that's as far as it really goes.  

In her essay Racially Conscious Mothering, she mentioned how black mothers have been raising their kids to become aware of the racial stratification of society. Black mothers are making their kids aware of how unfair America's society is to them simply because of their brown skin. I wish I had a mentor to tell me about this. I have only been living a lie since I wasn't able to recognize or study what racism really is. 

My mother didn't raise me to be racially conscious. After fleeing from the Vietcong during the Vietnam War, my parents and three older siblings were able to fly to the United States to make a new and better life here. Their minds were filled with the American Dream rhetoric. 

The words that filled my mind were: Education is the key to success! 

It seemed true for a long time. I did well in all my schooling. During high school I even took a few college courses--enough to fulfill a whole semester's worth of courses. I was off to college with so much enthusiasm and happiness because of my academic success. However, once I came here to St. Olaf College, I began experiencing something I could not have prepared for: classicism and racism...covert racism. I never knew these would hurt so much. 

My first year at St. Olaf College was a big disaster. For the first time ever, I was in a room full of white students who are super rich. Some had a few mansions, many had medical doctors for parents. I never felt so far behind in academics before. How could I, an immigrant daughter, compete with that? 

Every single day was an impossible battle in my mind. Before I went to class, I was already stressing about how I'm going to have to sit with all of those white students. When I made it to class, I sat with the international Chinese students so I wouldn't have to fear being judge by using incorrect grammar since the Chinese students I became friends with struggled to understand the English language. I felt more at home sitting next to them.

When class required me to speak for participation points, I began to rehearse a sentence or two in my head for 20 minutes before I actually raise my hand because my mind is always interrupted with fear of what the white students really think of me as an Asian person:

Ching chong, ling long, ting tong.
Those Asians can't even speak English.
They need to go back to China.
Their eyes are so chinky. 

My thoughts became more poisonous. Once I began to raise my hand, my face begins to redden. As I raise my hand up, chaos fills my mind:

I know, I just know, that if I mess up on my grammar when speaking out loud, all the white people will attach it to my whole race of Asians. 

When white people mess up on their grammar, it never attaches to them. 

Think about George W. Bush. 

He made lots of grammatical errors in his public speeches, but most of the American society thinks it was cute, simply adorable and such. 

The American society wouldn't label white people as grammatically incorrect imbeciles. 

If Obama made grammatical errors in his speech, all hell would break loose. 

All of this is because of racism. 

All of this was scrambling all over in my mind. 

Right before I am about to be called on, my mind tells me:
Don't mess up, don't mess up, don't be grammatically incorrect, please don't, or else they will all think you're stupid, they will all think Asian Americans from the ghetto poor neighborhoods are stupid and only made it to campus because of affirmative action and grant money...don't mess up....or else...

...and then the professor picks on me to make a comment....

"...Oh, never mind," I smile politely as my cheeks begin to burn.

"Are you sure?" My professor insists.

I lie, "...Um, you have already answered the question I had..."

"Okay" He turns toward the class again and continues lecture.

My mind is still at war. I replay all the words I've said out loud:

Oh, never mind...Um, you have already answered the question I had...

Oh, never mind...Um, you have already answered the question I had...

Oh, never mind...Um, you have already answered the question I had...

I pause.

I wonder if that statement was grammatically incorrect...

Hmm...
Oh, never mind...Um, you have already answered the question I had...
Oh, never mind...Um, you have already answered the question I had...

Hmm...
Oh, never mind...

Hmm...
Um, you have already answered the question I had...

Okay, I think it's okay...

~*~

I was never like this in high school. I went to a high school that was absolutely racially diverse. It was only when I came to an institution where I am really the only person of color in the classroom that I began to have all these fears of racism. Because all of the white students are very good at hiding their truly racist thoughts and perceptions (colorblind racism), my state of mind has become chaotic somehow. That is how I have tried to understand this situation. Before learning about colorblind racism, I just blamed myself for getting carried away with these thoughts and being far too hysterical. But no, there is a larger social force that is impacting my feelings and thoughts and that is the racial stratification of our society and all the things that emerges from it--colorblind racism, overt racism, white supremacy, etc. And it's not just race. My passiveness also has to do with how women in society are supposed to be the submissive obedient persons to men.

Colorblind racism is all around me. Even if white students did not say racist things to my face, I know it crosses their mind. I know they talk about it behind closed doors. Everyone seems friendly, but no one will ever invite me to their movie nights, luncheons, or other activities. Colorblind racism was destroying me, and I didn't even know it. I've heard several white students say colorblind racists things such as, "Oh, one of my best friends were black." Did they really hangout, invite each other over for dinner in their home, sleepovers, etc? I don't think so. Stop lying to me. 

I believe mothers need to be racially conscious and raise their kids to be aware of it. I believe everyone should be racially conscious just as Professor Ted Thornhill said in our class on Monday. If I had been raised by being aware of the racial stratification of this society and of the world, I believe I would have been a stronger person. I would not be such a passive Asian woman. My mind would not have endured   all this pain because I would have built a strong foundation on how to shift my thinking. 

Burgeoning Feminist

My friend is getting married. 

Don't get excited for me. 

I feel disappointed, upset, angry, and worried about this news. 

For me, it's more like he is purchasing a woman.

Dowry Price (source)

I've been friends with Xavier since high school. We used to play tennis after school with a bunch of friends. 

A couple of months ago, he went to visit Laos with his parents. He posted pictures of their visit to Laos on Facebook. I found it strange that most of the photos are of him and Laotian Hmong women. It seems like his vacation and mission in Laos was to find a wife. Many Hmong American men have been traveling overseas for this purpose. I didn't think Xavier is the kind of person to do this sort of thing, but I guess his actions speak louder than words. After only a few weeks in Laos, my friend returned to the USA engaged to a Hmong woman from Laos.

The worst part is the extra album he created. It is entitled, "Hmong Laos Girls". The description for the album says, "Be serious and you can contact them." In this album, there are 18 individual pictures of Laotian Hmong women. These women look like they are dressed in the best clothing they have. Some stand in front of their home which is a shack with dirt as the floor. The beautiful forest jungle scenery is also in the background. Another woman stands on a bridge. Another woman stands on a dirt road, holding the peace sign up. Each photo has their name.

I had to make a few comments on this album.

Monzong:
Isn't it illegal to post something like this? It's like a different form [a safer form] of human trafficking. What you're saying to your audience is: "If you're serious about 'purchasing' a Laotian Hmong woman through 'marriage', here they are. Just pick and choose." This is highly dehumanizing towards women. A violence done onto women. I do not approve.

Sue:
To an extent, I agree with you Monzong, but maybe the girls approved?!

Xavier:
that's why i said serious inquiries only. if who ever ask and is not serious about actually marrying one then STAY OFF because these are close relatives of mine too. also they did ask too if i can find them one if i don't get involved with anyone of them..

Monzong:
You may argue men are relieving women through financial support. You could say that this is a form of empowering women and their family in developing countries such as Laos & Thailand. However, the power dynamic of the patriarchal societies in which we exist in coerces women [and their families] to this kind of desperation for wealth. You can argue that these women are giving their consent to marry the 'rich' American Hmong men, but to what extent have their thoughts and values been shaped by their poor living conditions and the oppressive forces of the patriarchal system of a society? In the end, this kind of activity results in the degradation of women (no matter if you have close relations to these women or not), which leads to sexism, and then lead to violence towards women--sexual violence and more. The larger picture is at stake here: women seen as objects--objectification of women.

Xavier:
that's y i said serious inquiries only. the reason i said that is if you don't like the girl why start it. and also i don't approve of a person getting married just because one of them is in a poorer state. that's going to be a mislead to a life of unhappiness. as you noticed and see i married one myself. I made my own choice based on the facts that I've met her and really like and love her and the factors goes the same for her.

Monzong:
So what does marriage mean anyway? Does it begin with seeing someone as sexy and vulnerable and beautiful? And then what's next? Making sure you have enough money? And then what's next? Oh, I know what's next, it's the nice flowery notion of valuing the woman's sense of self-worth, her personality, her obedience, compatibility...? Is this your message to the world about these women? I don't understand. Please debunk these thoughts in my mind. Please do so, as I am contemplating about this all in relation to the greater sociological consequences. I find what you say hard to believe, though I believe you're not the typical ruthless Hmong man who would just go over to Laos merely in pursuit of purchasing a wife. No offense there. I am finding it hard to believe what you're displaying here is a result for the greater good of women's condition. I need to speak to you more about this.

Xavier:
I'm not putting it out that way. I'm just a person who is trying to open a pathway to others. There are many (and I know a few) that would take advantage of this, but at the same time you have to considerate who is the one behind this. Which is me, thinks highly of a women, that is not willing to give anymore information to those who is just trying to take advantage someone.

Monzong:
You think highly of women but how does this display of women not make you hypocritical?

Xavier:
It's not. If I am I would be posting phone numbers left and right like everyone else that are trying to take advantage of others.

Xavier:
I'm not putting it out that way. I'm just a person who is trying to open a pathway to others. There are many (and I know a few) that would take advantage of this, but at the same time you have to considerate who is the one behind this. Which is me, thinks highly of a women, that is not willing to give anymore information to those who is just trying to take advantage someone.

Monzong:
I don't mean to demonize you in anyway. I believe you have good intentions. However, I believe this situation is more complicated than you think it is. It is more complicated than WE think it is. I am here to provoke critical analysis of this situation through a sociological and feminist perspective. I don't want for anyone to be a passive recipient to whatever is in front of them. I want questions.

Sue's comment about how the Laotian Hmong women have agency for approving these marriages troubles me. Do they really have agency? Is it really their choice? The rhetoric of women's choice is a passive discourse. In 21st Century Motherhood, Judith Stadtman Tucker critiques the discourse of choice and agency in her essay From "Choice" to Change: Rewriting the Script of Motherhood as Maternal Activism:

From an activist standpoint, the discourse of choice--which is primarily used to justify or explain the way things are, rather than to defend the way things ought to be--can be understood as a passive discourse (297).

This is the essay I needed to read in order to better analyze this situation. The Laotian Hmong women may approve of the marriage arrangements, but how has their choice been influenced by multiple social factors and systems of oppression like patriarchy and capitalism? 

I've changed a lot since high school. My thinking has become more radical and critical since high school. Many of my old high school friends want to enjoy the simple life and not have to complicate things. I really do not know if they can handle being around me. I don't think they are used to women or thinkers like me because if something sexist is muttered, I will react. I will challenge them. They will feel uncomfortable, but I think they will grow from it nevertheless. 

White Eggs in Brown Bodies

Brown bodies, white eggs. So, what does that mean?  Basically, white women, who cannot carry a fetus for 9 months due to a variety of medical issues, pay black women to become their surrogate. The brown woman's body [uterus] has a fertilized egg from a white couple inside. Race is very important here. Historically, white people have an extremely higher level of income than black people. White women overall are less likely to become surrogate mothers unless they are paid a high income. On a large scale, black women have less income than white women in this country. Black women are  more likely to offer their body as a surrogate way as a means for extra income money and when they do not request as much money for offering these services compared to what white women would demand. 

In Deborah R. Grayson's journal article, Mediating Intimacy: Black Surrogate Mothers and the Law, she poses these questions after the case of Mark and Crispina Calvert—a white and Filipina ancestry middle-class couple—and their surrogate Anna Johnson—a working-class woman of African American descent. 

• Can a woman be the mother of a child with whom she has no genetic connection? 

• Or does the genetic material provided by the egg and the sperm donated to create the child determine who its natural parent or parents are? 

• When does a woman become a mother--while she is pregnant or after she has delivered a baby? 

• What of the bodily experience of pregnancy?

• Does a woman's participation in pregnancy--her carrying the fetus in her uterus--have any bearing on the determining factor in defining parental rights and relationships, or that custody disputes should be decided solely on the basis of the parental intent of the persons who supplied the genetic material? 

• Who and what is a mother? 

• Can a child have two biological mothers? 

How would you answer these questions?

Race Matters Campaign

At the beginning of this semester, I thought I had the worst Sociology & Anthropology senior seminar course. We did not even have a syllabus until a couple of weeks ago. The readings for class seemed randomly selected based on the most recent books on the economy, environment, health care, and race. It was a drag to go to class, and even worse to be stuck in class for 55 minutes every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Wow. I never knew this would happen to me at St. Olaf College. 

On the other hand.....

The reason why this is the best class ever:

Our professor gave us full autonomy in designing any kind of project we want.

At first, we all wanted to create a protest. We wanted to do something radical about racism on campus. After much discussion and reconstruction of our ideas, we have decided to create the Race Matters campaign.

It has been a rewarding experience! I'm so proud of my colleagues and I for being so passionate about addressing racism on campus!

Please join us for the Panel Discussion on Monday April 15th 7pm in the Black and Gold Ballroom!

This is the poster that I created through Adobe Photoshop CS6.

Addressing colourblind racism.

The End of Men???

Hanna Rosin gave this TED talk on how women are rising above men in almost every area! She makes global generalizations on how women are succeeding everywhere. For example, women are becoming the breadwinners! Women have higher income than men! She also claims that there are more women in the world such as in China. This is not true.

According to Mara Hvistendahl, author of Unnatural Selection, there is a gender imbalance in the world.  The male to female ratio is distorted. There are more men in China than women. Rosin's hopeful speech about how women are rising above men lacks solid research. 

Watch and listen critically.

In Reshaping the Work-Family Debate, Joan Williams critiques Sarah Palin's version of feminism:
"In Palin's version of feminism, men need not change. In addition, she herself exemplifies the conventional success strategy, which is to dress femme but act the tomboy, taking on masculine personality traits (firm, comanding, competent, confident) and roles (breadwinner). This strategy works for many professional women while they are young and child free. But it does not appeal to many women, and for many others, assimilation opportunities end abruptly once children are born. Palin so captivated many American women, in part, because she sent a reassuring message: I can be a good mother, a hot babe, and a successful leader. Nothing needs to change (218)."

Really!!?

Does Rosin's TED talk seem similar to that of Sarah Palin's version of feminism?

That's what it seems so to me! You could easily replace much of what Williams said about Palin's "version of feminism" and relate it to Rosin's message. Rosin over generalizes women. Her TED talk will not appeal to all mothers, women of color, women in poverty, and more. Rosin's TED talk only leads to how "nothing needs to change" except that maybe too many women are rising to the top and we need to help men.

By the way, check out Rosin's new book, The End of Men and the Rise of Women. I don't mean to promote her work. The title sounds iffy. Challenge her work.

Time for a Rest

Hello readers! I'm finally on spring break! I will be posting more when I return from spring break! Hope you'll enjoy the sun's warmth and the brighter days ahead!

I'm planning on adopting a blind puppy. It is a chihuahua and yorkie mixed breed. The puppy developed cataracts and it's far too expensive to pay for the surgery--$2,000 per eye. My sister is absolutely saddened by this as I refrain from such emotions. I don't want to turn my puppy into a demon dog by giving it affection 100%.  I learned that from Ceasar Millan. I love watching his Dog Whisperer shows!  It's amazing! And it's free on YouTube!

awesome arrows

http://fsymbols.com/signs/arrow/

Knowledge is Precious

Precious Knowledge

I am loving Eren McGinnis' documentary film, Precious Knowledge. Watching the trailer has brought tears to my eyes as I reflect on the decades of being tested on white people's history (or History through the lens of white people). I wish my high school had an Ethnic Studies program.

The best my public high school could do in adding a challenge to its curriculum was the addition of  Advanced Placement courses. However, if you take a glimpse at the course topics you will see how not a single course sounds like it incorporates critical gender or race theory component.

I took the AP US History course during high school.
My final grade was a big fat  C+.

Shame on me? Whatever. I didn't want to memorize 1,000 dead white phony & over-glorified male politicians who worked hard to build this country. Who the hell does? I was tired of worshiping the white fathers of our past because of all the hidden truths of genocide (i.e. Manifest Destiny, slavery).

Genocide of Natives

My friends and I were too educated to be continually bullshitted by the racialized institution of our education system.

I remember how students in my class were more excited about discussing the history of illegal annexation of Mexican territory into what is now known as Texas. Our teacher allowed for us to discuss this for a minute or two, but then moved on to the required information we needed to learn in order to pass the AP US History exam. Oh my gosh the textbook was dry. And we were only learning what "white people" wanted us to know about US History. Martin Luther King Jr., and Harriet Tubman were the main black people we learned about. We never even talked about Malcolm X or the Black Panthers. This goes to show how flowery the US History textbooks were, and how colorblind the education system was trying to make us all.

Minority Mirror

I wish we read select chapters from Ronald Takaki's book, A Different Mirror: A History of Multicultural America for AP US History.

Now that I think back to the education I received in high school, I believe many students would have really wished for an Ethnic Studies program. Even a Mexican American Studies program would have been absolutely beneficial and revolutionary!

Throughout high school, I questioned why I was required to read Tim O'Brien's book The Things They Carried instead of Tragic Mountains: The Hmong, The Americans, and The Secret Wars for Laos 1942-1992 written by Dr. Jane Hamilton-Merrit. The two books are about Vietnam war. But the second book would have had a greater connection to the many Hmong students who were in the classroom. More students would have been engaged if the second book was taught...perhaps?

And why were we not reading Kao Kaliah Yang's newly released book The LateHomecomer? I was a junior in high school in the year the book was released. I bet many students at my school would have finished the book within a week if it was required reading! It has great prose, and she's a great American writer of her generation! What's going on with the education system? Who are the ones making the reading requirements? Are they all white male legislators?

Great!

Why is it that The Great Gatsby is considered a "classic"? Who gets to categorize what makes a book a classic? And to what extent does this story resonate with everyone's experience?  This book was written by F. Scott Fitzgerald, a white man who had privilege to an education during the 1920s when women were denied any access to education. AND WHY were so many required readings for high school students male authors? Why can't we have more contemporary writers in our education curriculum? We can analyze the literary devices and writing techniques the authors have incorporated in their writings. It's not like we'll lose all of these literary skills if we were to simply choose books that perhaps resonate with contemporary experiences of students today. To top it off, we could even watch amazing documentary films like "Precious Knowledge" and gain lots of critical knowledge from it.

I had so many lingering questions that were left unanswered for years in high school. I felt there was no space to explore them as well. When I questioned my teachers, they simply shut it down and bickered to why I would ask such questions.

Hmm, I wonder if I go back to them now! Now that I have the knowledge of institutionalized racism and SEXISM of the education system, I wonder what will happen if I go back to ask these teachers these questions and challenge their cognition.

Anyways, I only have $2.35 in my bank account...and $8 dollars in my piggy bank... McGinnis is selling her DVD for $20.... I can't spend 100% of my money ($10.35) on one super duper amazing and revolutionary film....  I doubt she'll let me have an autographed DVD for $5.00. Hrmm... *sigh*.

Would you be so kind to lend me a dollar?

Forget it....I'll pay her in the pennies I have left...

Welfare Queen Myth

From 1935 to 1996, Aid to Families with Dependent Children (AFDC) was created by the Social Security Act and administered by the United States Department of Health and Human Services. 

This is how the image of families with dependent children used to look like (when there was only black and white photography): 

 "Aid to dependent children keeps families together." 

And this was the promise of the American government programs (once again, notice the portrayal of the white mother and the white baby):

Safe & Secure!

Did you notice the whiteness of the first image of an American family? It is a picture of a white single mother with many kids--5 kids. And the second photo had the image of a white woman with her white baby.

Now pay attention to the shift of family image when the AFDC program changed to Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) in 1996.

Temporary Assistance for Needy Families

Contemporary American Family 

Notice how it is a family of color? And specifically, families of black and brown folk. 

This is US society's dominant image of the families that are poor and are in need. Americans have been made to think that families like these are leeching off of the government. Politicians make these poor families seem like they are having a life of extravagance.

USA is known as having the richest poor of the world. For instance, the poor in the US have microwaves and a roof over their heads compared to the extremely poor in India where poor Indians hardly have anything. This comparison is out of proportion. This comparison is only a tactic for class warfare. It makes Americans go against the poor in their country and eventually will lead to more havoc.  

Notice how historically, the white single mothers who were getting government financial aid through the AFDC program were also never known as welfare queens.

Anti-racist activist

About half an hour into Tim Wise's speech at Colorado College, he analyzes the discourse of welfare queens, and the ideology of the anti-government and anti-tax narrative. 

After reading the congressional record for why the congressmen voted for the main cash welfare program for single mothers and kids, Wise found out how they wanted to have these programs so that white mothers would be able to stay at home to raise their children without having to go into the paid workforce, while their husbands left to find work during the great depression. For the record, the congressional vote for welfare program also applied to white single mothers and white widows.

Now, the big question is:

"Is this the narrative today about cash welfare?"

Should we still encourage people to stay at home and raise their children, today?

NO!

The purpose for which the welfare programs were created was to allow white women to stay at home and not have to sell their labor to someone else for a wage. But once women of color gained access to the program, which didn't happen until the 1960's, all of a sudden that rhetoric changed. All of a sudden people started shouting about how the struggling and needy mothers in poverty need to get a job--that they're so lazy just sitting around getting money for nothing, merely raising children only. The poor are labeled pathological, dysfunctional and worthless.

The rhetoric of women living in the home wasn't seen as a bad thing until women of color began gaining access to financial aid from the government. This is not to over simplify the situation. It is to make you understand how all of this is racially connected. (Here I summarize Wise's ideology analysis of the anti-government and anti-tax narrative debate)

Questions for the readers: What observations have you made about the Welfare Queen myth and society?

Compare that to what is known as "housewives" today to the black housewives (I mean, there is no such thing as a "black housewife"...they are only known as welfare queens):

*Cha*~*Ching*!*

Doing the Laundry

"Why can't mommie take care of me?"

As a little child, I hardly ever became ill. I loved going to doctor visits because they always told me how healthy I am. I lived in California at the time. It was warm all year round.

Minnesota......on the other hand........can be a super cold place.

If you searched through my genealogy, you will find out how we are from the warm tropics. I remember my father telling me stories of the times he hunted for birds in the jungles of Laos. There were no roads but narrow dirt paths to follow through the jungles of Laos. My family immigrated to the US in 1976, and later I was born in 1991 in California. It was nice and warm like in Laos. When we moved to Minnesota in the summer of 2002, it was warm, indeed.

And then, winter came along.

I enjoyed the beauty of snow, but endured the annual flu for 4 years in a row. From 4th grade all the way to 7th grade, I had the flue whenever it was winter. I guess my body wasn't made for the -10 degree weather. I'm supposed to be in the tropics 24/7. But I remain here in Minnesota.

I remembered how, during those times of illness in elementary school and middle school, I would have to miss my winter band concerts. The state of Minnesota began to question whether I was a juvenile delinquent. I received a notice from the state of Minnesota for missing so many days of school.

But instead of roaming around the city stealing or vandalizing stuff, I was home alone trying to get well. My body was wrapped in blankets. I slept through the whole day until someone came home from work or school. One of my five siblings were usually home by 4pm to find me on the floor of the living room burning up. Sometimes they'd help bring me a cup of water, but they knew that my body will eventually heal on its own. They pretty much just let me lay there on the ground wrapped in blankets.

And where were my parents in all of this?

Yum!

My mom and dad were working at minimum wage cutting vegetables all day at a factory in a freezing room-sized refrigerator.

My father was never home to take care of me when I became ill. He never took a day off of work to care for my illness. I was never certain of why.

My mother could only care for me in the few hours she had before work. She would hand me a bottle of DayQuil. Then she would say goodbye and headed out the door to drive to work. And that was it. I was on the floor of the living room, and she was gone. Is this a form of neglect? Or is there something else going on?

My own copy of her book!

In Joan C. Williams' book Reshaping the Work-Family Debate, she states how 3 out of every 4 employed adults say they have little or no control over their work schedules. According to one study done by WorkLife Law--an organization founded by Williams herself--53% of working-class employees cannot take time off to care for sick children.

My parents would have easily lost their low paying jobs if they took off so many days off of work to stay home to take care of me. It isn't their fault that they couldn't stay home. The real source of the issue here was that the workforce and its politics is failing families.

In Williams' book, she shows how the workplace disadvantages both women and men. Masculinity norms at work make men less willing to admit they need to leave work to care for their children. Men have faced termination because of leaving their job to attend to their family responsibilities. Williams promotes reframing the issue of workers' need for time off as an issue of workers' rights rather than family responsibilities. She discusses how we can reshape the work-family debate in consideration of class issues.